Socially Challenged
by Punk Knut
Summary: All our little Harry Potter friends help me teach y'all how NOT to be socially challenged. You know you need the help. Chapter Three: Pink-Laced Panties: Part One is up
1. Crushes Become Crushed

Socially Challenged  
  
~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, never mine, all just for fun.  
  
Summary: A guide to totally embarrassing situations, when you know you're screwed and that you've got yourself into this mess all by yourself. Read to see who and how your fave characters got into this mess.  
  
~~~  
  
Chapter One: Crushes become Crushed.  
  
A boy of sixteen stands behind a group of Gryffindor girls as he and his cronies arrive for their next Care of Magical Creatues lesson. The girls seem unaware that their topic of conversation just so happens to be staning behind them.  
  
The boy, Draco Malfoy, takes a tiny step closer so he may eavesdrop even further.  
  
"... does she really?"  
  
"Him?"  
  
"Yeah, she said Draco."  
  
"Hermione Granger?"  
  
"Hermione likes Malfoy? Are you sure."  
  
"Yes, Hermione has a major crush on him."  
  
"Imagine if he found out."  
  
"I know, Hermione would die."  
  
"She'd probably kill herself, not die."  
  
"We should tell Malfoy and see."  
  
Loud giggles lifted from the group and a few girls turned around to find Draco standing there.  
  
He laughed at their faces. "Girls," He said, rolling his eyes. "Unaware of everything."  
  
~~~  
  
Handy Tips #1:  
  
Eavesdropping, its a great way to get information, even if the information isn't entirely reliable.  
  
~~~  
  
Draco and his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, were sitting at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall during lunch after Care of Magical Creatures. Granger and her friends got up to leave.  
  
Draco motioned for Crabbe and Goyle to stand up also. They followed them out of the Hall then Draco drawled loudly to the Hall's current occupants.  
  
"So... Has anyone else heard who Granger has a crush on?"  
  
People turned their heads to him, hoping to hear something funny. Granger turned also, her tag-alongs, Potter and Weasley turning also.  
  
She laughed as she looked down at him. "I don't like anyone, Malfoy."  
  
"That's not what I've heard," Draco taunted.  
  
Granger folded her arms. "What have you heard?" Granger asked, snappily.  
  
Laughing loudly, Draco announced to the Entrance Hall that Granger supposedly had a major crush on him.  
  
Granger, Weasley and Potter all burst into hysterics, Granger the loudest. She calmed a little and wiped her eyes. "You think I like you?" She asked, smirking. "I don't know what sick fantasies you've been having, Malfoy, but cut me out of them."  
  
The entire Entrance Hall burst into laughter, many fingers pointing at Draco, whom had a face that had turned a similar colour to that of the Gryffindor house flag.  
  
~~~  
  
Handy Tips #2:  
  
Always know when the tell that they're laughing at you, not with you. Pointing is an obvious sign. Remember, do not laugh at yourself, it just makes you look ignorant, stupid and even more laughable.  
  
~~~  
  
This lesson is to teach you all that don't always believe what you hear, gossip is gossip and rarely true. Now you can end up like Draco in this situation, or trace it back to its source.  
  
No matter how fine you think you are, not EVERYONE has a crush on you, get over yourself.  
  
~~~  
  
A/N: I'll be posting my next lesson soon, you kiddies behave yourselves.  
  
~Thai. 


	2. Trend Setting

Socially Challenged  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, never mine, all just for fun.  
  
Summary: A guide to totally embarrassing situations, when you know you're screwed and that you've got yourself into this mess all by yourself. Read to see who and how your fave characters got into this mess.  
  
Chapter Two: Trend Setting  
  
Parvati slowly descended the golden staircase, hair loose and in hundreds of ringlets. Golden banges at her wrist and gold on her fingers. Gold at her ears, gold on her lips, gold at her eyes; Gold everywhere.  
  
Simply Gold.  
  
Suddenly Harry stepped into view from next to the golden steps, wearing a full black tuxedo.  
  
"Parvati, you look... Wow," Harry whispered when she reached him.  
  
"Thank you, Harry, it's the latest trend."  
  
Harry gaped at her as she glided across the room, hands began clapping and Parvati curtsied and left the room, into darkness.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Parvati sat up in bed, looking around herself.  
  
"Oh, it was only a dream," she muttered, falling back onto her pillow.  
  
"Huh?" Lavender mummbled in the bed next to her.  
  
"Nothing, I just figured out what I'll be wearing to the dance tomorrow."  
  
"That's nice," Lavender said, not really listen. Parvati heard her turn over and a faint snore came from her general direction a few minutes later.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Lavender banged on the door loudly. "Parvati, come on, you have to come out now, we'll be late."  
  
"Hold on, I'll be right out," Parvati called, her voice a little stressed.  
  
"What are you doing in there?" Lavender asked, curiously.  
  
"You'll see," Parvati called back, her voice getting a rather desperate tone to it.  
  
Suddenly there was a scream from inside the bathroom.  
  
"Parvati! Are you alright?" Lavender enquired, her voice desperate now.  
  
"I'm fine, but-" Parvati said, opening the door. "My hair isn't."  
  
Lavender blinked as she gazed at her friend. "What did you do to yourself?" she asked, trying not to laugh, but the strain was hard.  
  
"I wanted ringlets, and the spell didn't work," Parvati admitted.  
  
"Well look at it this way, it's a new trend."  
  
Parvati blinked at her friend then burst into tears.  
  
The door to the dormitory and Hermione Granger entered, looking elegant beyond belief. This made Parvati sob harder. What was worse was the fact that Hermione had somehow gotten Harry and Ron up there with her.  
  
"P-Parvati?" Ron asked, shocked.  
  
Harry simply burst into laughter with Hermione.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Tip#1:  
  
Things never turn out as you dream them too, even if you are magical.  
  
Tip#2:  
  
Leave trend setting up to the professionals, they know what they're doing, unlinke Parvati here.  
  
-=-=-  
  
review by using the button below, you know you wanna... 


	3. PinkLaced Panties: Part One

**Socially Challenged: Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never mine, all just for fun.

**Summary:** A guide to totally embarrassing situations, when you know you're screwed and that you've got yourself into this mess all by yourself. Read to see who and how your fave characters got into this mess.

**Chapter Three: Pink-Laced Panties: Part One**

* * *

_Severus Snape; mean, angry, greasy, sarcastic, cynical, hypocritical, immoral, and the world's most prejudice man - next to Lucius Malfoy, that is. You all know him as our sarcastically sweet and "open-minded" Potions Master; or this is the image he has placed you to believe. But do any of you really know the real Snape? Allow me to educate you..._

_Allow me to introduce myself, or shall I get you to guess; I think I shall._

_I'm thousands of years old; no I'm not Mcgonagall, even if she has seemed to age as much as I._

_I can't walk, talk, eat, sleep, anything._

_You've all met me at least once or twice, and I'm mentioned in more stories than you realise; you could spot me in any Harry Potter Fic, you just have to read hard enough._

_I'm a little dirty, and I let everyone walk all over me._

_I know all your secrets._

_I could fit you all in my mouth._

_I bet that last one got you, and you're thinking, what he hell am I? Fine, I'll tell you..._

_I'm Hogwarts Castle._

_And as you can guess, I don't just know your secrets, I know the little games of one, Severus Snape._

_Let me take you back twenty years ago, you can tell who this so-claimed "future Death Eater" is._

* * *

A boy of sixteen, sitting crossed legged on a dungeon floor, looks up as two boys enter the room; one resembling our own Harry Potter, the other sporting jet-black hair, and the same Gryffindor robes as his friend. Both boys are smirking.

The sitting boy, our victim in this story - Snape, scrambled to his feet at the sight of the boy, pulling something behind his back as he did so; unfortunately for Snape the two boys, Potter and Black, noticed this tiny piece of pink lace.

Turning to each other, they smirks grew. Raising their wands, they stepped closer to Snape.

"What'cha got there, Snivellus?" Black asked, twirling his wand between his fingers with ease.

Snape gulped, his eyes showing no fear though. "None of your business, blood-traitor."

Black laughed, "You think that's insulting, Snape?" he said through his bark-laughs.

Potter chuckled softly before pointing his wand at Snape. "Accio pink lace," he said, almost lazily.

The pink object, which Snape was attempting to shove into the pockets of his robes, zoomed from his grip and into the grip of young Potter.

He chuckled loudly as he held up a pair of pink-laced panties before a label on the back became clear to him. His eyes bludged as the words became visible, reading:

Lily Evans...

* * *

**End Short Chapter!**

_If you want Part Two you've gotta review and I'll get it up asap. Sorry that this one was so short, but the funny bit is coming, I swear. ;D._

_Until Next chapter,_

_**-Jnari, kisses.**_


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